Clients may say they’ve given up dieting but they still have a dieting mindset. How do you recognize this and what do you do about it?

One of the keys to healing your client’s relationship with food is for them to give up dieting. There’s really no two ways around it. To exit the restrict-binge cycle and find food freedom, you have to let go of dieting. But what I often see happen is that clients will give up name-brand diets like keto or intermittent fasting, but they’re still very much ascribed to diet culture itself.

Hidden food rules, mental restrictions and guilt around eating certain foods keep them stuck in the same cycle. So what are the signs you need to be on the lookout for? And what do you do about it?

Common red flags

• Feeling guilty

They may be giving themselves permission to eat all foods, but at the same time they’re saying to themselves, “I really shouldn’t be eating this. Tomorrow I’ll do better.” Asking about the thought process that’s going on behind the scenes is essential here.

• Having “safe” snacks first

When they crave something unhealthy, they eat all the healthy snacks first to see if they can hold off the craving. This never works. In fact, it usually results in eating a whole lot of little snacks before finally giving in and having the food they’re craving – most of the time in a much larger amount than if they just had eaten it to begin with. Ask about cravings to find out what’s going on here.

• Mental tracking

They may have given up the calorie counting, but they’re still mentally keeping track of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods and trying to keep a balance. So if they’ve had a carb-heavy lunch, they’ll be actively trying to have a carb-light dinner. If they go out for coffee today, they’ll be sure not to have dessert that night, etc. While it sounds fairly sensible, the fact is that it’s still a diet in disguise. Instead of focusing on what they’re eating, they should be focusing on how their food makes them feel – then the balance happens naturally and doesn’t need to be forced.

• Mental restrictions

“Everything in moderation” sounds so nice, but it’s a hidden killer. When our clients only allow themselves a little bit of unhealthy food because they’re worried about eating too much of it, that food will continue to hold power over them. This is because it keeps them in a scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset. The truth is, our clients often need to go through a period of eating too much junk in order to create the abundance mindset where they know that it is always available and they can have it whenever they want. In this way it loses it’s power over them and they’re able to keep it in the house without going crazy.

What to do

Once you’ve uncovered a hidden dieting mindset, what do you do about it? Talk through the ‘why’ behind the choices and ask a few pointed questions to gently challenge these thoughts. Here are a couple questions you might like to ask to stimulate conversation and get your client thinking…

“Where does that belief come from?”

“What evidence do you have to back up that belief?”

“Is that belief serving you?”

“Is there a more helpful way to think about this?”

Combine this with an attitude of curiosity and awareness (not judgement), perhaps a simple hunger-fullness chart, and the knowledge that they’ll go through a messy in-between stage where they need to eat more to create that abundance mindset – and your client will be well on their way to finally healing their relationship with food.