Discover why happiness isn’t a destination on the scale. Dietitian Lucy Carey explores the science behind weight loss and happiness.
Have you ever felt that if you could reach your goal weight, everything else in your life would just fall into place? It’s a sentiment I see on the daily with my nutrition clients. They come to me wanting advice to get down to a certain number on the scale, but the number is irrelevant – what they’re really chasing is the happiness they think will come with it.
But the thing is, if they do get to that goal weight, happiness doesn’t materialise out of thin air. In fact, new perceived flaws and insecurities take over. The goal posts shift and now happiness awaits at a new number.
Happiness isn’t a destination on the scale
It seems to be a common misconception that happiness is directly tied to appearance. Research actually shows that the initial boost in happiness that happens when you lose weight quickly fades – and body dissatisfaction and psychological distress often increase.
Think about the last time you felt true joy? Was it because you were able to fit a certain dress size, or because you experienced true connections and were able to be yourself and make beautiful memories?
A 2016 study in over 12,000 participants found that positive body image was more predictive of life satisfaction and wellbeing than weight or BMI. It seems that self-acceptance is far more important for happiness than being a certain weight.
Why happiness is a moving target
It’s called the “arrival fallacy” – the false belief that once we reach a specific goal, we’ll finally be content. I often think of athletes when I think of the arrival fallacy. When they finally win their Olympic gold medal, what happens? Nothing much. They just move on to the next goal that will supposedly bring them joy. When this mindset is applied to weight, it can set you up on an endless treadmill of “fixing” one thing after another, hoping that each fix will bring happiness. The reality is that external goals, especially ones tied to appearance, rarely deliver lasting fulfilment.
Happiness is not waiting for you at the end of a diet. Perhaps instead, we all need to change out mindsets, and start to cultivate happiness through learning to appreciate the small, ordinary moments in your everyday life.
Wellbeing over weight
But what about the idea that you’ll be healthier if you’re thinner? While physical health may improve, let’s not forget that mental health deteriorates if your focus is solely on weight.
Instead, I advocate for focusing on sustainable habits instead of a weight loss number. Regular meals, movement you enjoy, resting when your body tells you to. Generally being more attuned to your body signals and acting on them. These things increase both physical and mental health without restriction.
If weight loss happens as a result of small daily habit changes, that’s just a side-effect of your gain in health and wellbeing.
Can you integrate one compassionate health habit into your coming week? Instead of viewing your body as the enemy and trying to change it, can you respect it enough to nourish and care for it with regular meals, or an activity that you enjoy? This mental shift makes all the difference.
Asking ‘why’
When my clients tell me they want to lose weight, I always ask them why. It may be a question that you need to ask yourself as well. As the saying goes, ask why five times and you’ll get to the root of the issue. I find that it’s usually less about the weight itself and more about a desire to feel accepted, confident, or in control.
If you dig deeper into these motivations, you can start to find ways to address them without tying your worth to a number on a scale. Try writing down the reasons you want to lose weight. Then look at each one and ask yourself if you can fulfil that need without the weight-focus. For example, if you want to feel more confident, are there ways you can build self-confidence without weight loss? Learning a new skill? Connecting with supportive people? Doing something you enjoy?
Your weight doesn’t define your worth
If you peel back the layers, you’ll find that weight goals are usually driven by a desire to be enough – to feel happy, loved, and worthy. But weight will never define your worth. True happiness comes from self-acceptance, self-care, and feeling that we are leading a purposeful and meaningful life.
If you are able to let go of your weight loss goal and focus on a health gain goal instead (both physical and mental), you might just find that the freedom to live fully is a lot closer than you think.
Last webinar of 2024
If you’re ready to explore The Roadmap from Yoyo Dieting to Intuitive Eating and learn what happiness could mean beyond weight loss, join me for my final live Disordered Eating Masterclass for 2024.
I’m diving into the approach I use to shift clients away from restrictive goals and towards a more intuitive, fulfilling life. Let’s make this a year of true transformation – save your place on the Masterclass now! There will be no replay for this, so you must show up live to experience the magic!